2008.04.26
Exhausted Whinging
Lately I’ve been super stressed with work. There is far too much going on and it’s affecting my sleep. This isn’t too unusual and once the projects are over I’ll get back to my normally scheduled patterns. A monkey wrench was thrown into all of this with the bad news that my Mom has some form of cancer. She just found out so the test results aren’t back. Until then we don’t know much more than what I just told you.
Normally I try not to let unknowns affect me too terribly much. After all getting stressed about the unknown causes anxiety that no one needs or wants. I wasn’t always one to push aside worries about things I had no control over or that were simply made up possibilities. At some point in my life I discovered I felt a lot better and relaxed if I just dealt with the facts instead of speculation. No matter the perspective, though, my Mom’s situation is bothering me.
When I was four or five we lived in the Boston area. One day I was near hysterics, running around the house and crying inconsolably. Finally my Mom caught me, pulled me on the couch and held me in one of her precious hugs. “What is it?” she asked, to which I balled even more. Somehow at such a young age I learned that everyone dies. “I don’t want you to die!”
Mom, even if we lived forever, that sentiment is still true.
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7 Responses to “Exhausted Whinging”
- A says (April 26th, 2008 at 16:23:48 )
I just read, what you have written now. I hope she´ll be fine, theese days the doctors can do a lot.
I am thinking of you. Hold on.
Andrea- Nob Hill Ken says (April 26th, 2008 at 20:36:46 )
You’re not whinging. Whinging occurs when one complains about the insignificant; your Mom’s situation is most certainly not insignificant. You have every reason to be agitated, though you seem to be holding up quite well, outwardly anyway.
Incidentally, your post made me think of the talk I had with my parents when I was about five or six, in which my Mom basically told me that such events were soooo far in the future that I should just put them out of my mind. And my Dad told me not to think about such “rubbish” as mortality, period. Oh well. Worked for about 20-odd years.
Anyway, here’s to your Mom beating the freaking hell out of whatever it turns out she’s up against.
- uncle dave says (April 26th, 2008 at 21:53:43 )
Margie and I have been thinking a lot about your mom and hoping for the best for her. She has given up so much for others. She’s in my prayers.
- Pedro says (April 27th, 2008 at 05:08:06 )
Dude, I only met your mom a few times and I think she is pretty cool. I also know that she is one heck of a fighter so if anyone will beat it, your mom will. Then she will send it up to it’s room and tell it to never come out again. Your mom’s cool like that.
- Zapski says (April 28th, 2008 at 11:15:56 )
Doug, I hope everything is going OK. Cancer’s not as bad a thing as it used to be, in fact my Father has survived three bouts of it recently (two attacks of colon cancer, one prostate), so chances are good she’ll be just fine.
Give me a call if you want to talk.
- douglas says (April 28th, 2008 at 20:24:06 )
Thank you, Everyone. The thoughts are appreciated. I’m sure I’ll have more to say once we actually know anything. So far nothing new.
Cheers!
- douglas.nerad » Special Lazy Time says (May 8th, 2008 at 14:19:56 )
[...] big distraction, however, has been my Mom’s cancer situation that I alluded to here. Although the most recent prognosis is better than the original, I still don’t know enough to [...]
