Archive for April 26th, 2008

2008.04.26

Exhausted Whinging

Lately I’ve been super stressed with work. There is far too much going on and it’s affecting my sleep. This isn’t too unusual and once the projects are over I’ll get back to my normally scheduled patterns. A monkey wrench was thrown into all of this with the bad news that my Mom has some form of cancer. She just found out so the test results aren’t back. Until then we don’t know much more than what I just told you.

Normally I try not to let unknowns affect me too terribly much. After all getting stressed about the unknown causes anxiety that no one needs or wants. I wasn’t always one to push aside worries about things I had no control over or that were simply made up possibilities. At some point in my life I discovered I felt a lot better and relaxed if I just dealt with the facts instead of speculation. No matter the perspective, though, my Mom’s situation is bothering me.

When I was four or five we lived in the Boston area. One day I was near hysterics, running around the house and crying inconsolably. Finally my Mom caught me, pulled me on the couch and held me in one of her precious hugs. “What is it?” she asked, to which I balled even more. Somehow at such a young age I learned that everyone dies. “I don’t want you to die!”

Mom, even if we lived forever, that sentiment is still true.