Archive for November 22nd, 2006

2006.11.22

Dear Tourist in the Rental Car

Dear Tourist in the Rental Car,

Perhaps you were not aware but here in America we don’t use the metric system. While the metric system has many things going for it, not the least of which is that it make sense, we in America like to do things the hard way.

Therefore when you see that sign in front of you that says 45 MPH it means “Miles Per Hour”. A mile is ~1.6 of your kilometers. 45 MPH is about 72 Km/H (kilometers per hour). You were driving about 30MPH, which is about 48 Km/H; I bet you felt like you were speeding. However I have news for you. On American cars the MPH are on the outside in large numbers and the Km/H are on the inside using much smaller numbers.

It is obvious that you are driving based on the Km/H numbers. Please learn the difference between Km/H and MPH and YOU WON’T HAVE PEOPLE LIKE ME ALMOST REAR END YOU AND HONK MY HORN AT YOU. Slowing down even further after the fact doesn’t help your cause. You obviously earned enough money to come visit and rent a car so you can’t be completely stupid. Figure it out.

Thank you,
-doug.

PS: By the way, flipping me off doesn’t really hurt my feelings. It makes you look like even more of an ass. Whatever language you were yelling at me was quite colorful but since I didn’t understand, I don’t care. I’m sure your girlfriend/wife/prostitute sitting next to you thinks you’re really classy now.

PPS: Since it started raining I hope you at least figured out how to put the top on your rental convertable. Then again, maybe a little water will cool you off.