2005.11.03
Diagnosis In: It’s Terminal!
I went to the doctor today. I dislike going at all, but sometimes you just have to. I think it’s in a contract I signed. The nurse saw I was a bit anxious though, thankfully, not peeing my pants. She observed for me how it’s funny that people come to the hospital to get good news like, “You don’t have cancer,” but they also come to get bad news like, “Instead of cancer you have AIDS.”
I pondered the wisdom of this obvious statement; as a distraction I gave it a seven out of ten. I found the logic hard to argue with except in the stupid way that really ignorant people do. I was in a hospital, though, with doctors who were, I hoped, smart. I didn’t want to sound ignorant to them. I also didn’t want them to probe me with needles which I’d heard was a technique they use when they think you’re stupid.
The nurse had me go in a room, take off my shirt and wait for the doctor. I waited in this room for at least an hour. The clock showed just 15 minutes had passed but I think it was deliberately taunting me. Weirdly, the room was air conditioned so I put my shirt back on. This seemed to be the cue for the doctor to arrive.
She asked me some questions, poked me a bit with her sharp finger and listened to me breathe for a bit. After looking me over the diagnosis was made. It’s terminal! I’m going to die and there was nothing she could do to help me! I was startled beyond coherence. What? Really? When? I probably wouldn’t die for another 40-60 years, but symptoms were starting to show and the outlook is very bleak. There is no cure for what I have. Still, I’m not letting it get to me. I’m going to fight this with everything I can. You’ll see.
I’m reluctant to share this tragic news with you, Dear Readers, but I felt it my obligation to fully disclose how long you would have before this blog went silent. Forever. My advice to you is not to count on much beyond 40 years, though hopefully much, much longer.
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One Response to “Diagnosis In: It’s Terminal!”
- douglas.nerad » Answering the Challenge says (October 1st, 2006 at 22:14:53 )
[...] Instead I limited myself to items in the past year. This itself has proven a bit difficult, so I’m going to divide them into two groups. One is original stuff and the other is “political” in nature. Without further delay, here are the two lists: Original Posts: 1: Happy Holidays or What? covers my gripe with everyone prepending “happy” to almost every holiday and the expectations it breeds. What a bother. 2: Hairism in America talks about a not so new prejudice that has, to my knowledge, never been addressed. 3: The Problem with Religious Conservatives in America. Actually that should be religious zealots or christian fanatics. Essentially these evangelical idiots today would kill Jesus if he were standing before them today because he doesn’t really say what they want to hear. Sad but true. 4: Prepending “Christian” to Your Business Name. I had an epiphany that if you merely put the word “christian” in front of your business name you could rake in loads of extra money. You laugh, but it would work! 5: Diagnosis In: It’s Terminal!. A rather tongue in cheek visit to the doctor based on a real visit. [...]
